Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
