i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
