I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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