i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We had sex on a dog bed..
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
