I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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