i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
