Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
