We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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