I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
