Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize