Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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