I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize