If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
