the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I believe in your delicious
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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