OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
