Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
