i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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