Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Randomize
