Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
