i just had sex bonerless
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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