he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
