Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize