The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
