Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize