Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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