I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
