found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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