If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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