Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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