went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
