i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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