id be glad to
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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