its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
