just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
