If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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