whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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