Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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