i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
