I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
