He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
operation harelip BJ is a go
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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