Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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