idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
