People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
