I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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