Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
