We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize