On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
