that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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