New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
