fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize