I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, beer. Big fan.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
