Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
