i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
