and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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