i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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