Swine flu. Run for my life!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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