how can u be prego again
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize