I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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