Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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