yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
