I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
