He kissed a someone with a penis
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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